Monday, February 23, 2009

Why submit?

The quick and easy answer to that question is: because I want to, I need to, and because I choose to.

Although this is an accurate and honest answer... it really doesn't answer the question... Why do I choose to submit. After serious self evaluation and alot of deep thinking and reflection on my life; I came to realize that the answer isn't as simple as it seems.

I have often described myself as a contradiction of myself. And this is true on so many levels.

Looking at my past relationships with men, I naturally go for the weaker men. I need to feel wanted. I want to feel needed. I must feel important to my men. I want to be the main focus of my men's life. I want to be their all. Quite simply, I want to possess my men. I realized long ago that I flock to the men that I can control. It has always been my way or the highway. Do things my way or be gone. I want the men to serve me. Why do things myself when I can easily get someone else to do them for me? And honestly, getting weak men to do things for me is quite simple. I either charm them into doing it, seduce them into doing it, or I intimidate them into doing it. I can easily bring out the good qualities in these men and snuff out the qualities that I don't like in them.

Even as a child, I was always the one in control. I was raised by my single mother. She had to work alot to support my brother and me. I was the oldest and naturally, I became the authority figure at home. I tended to the domestic chores. I tended to my brother. I made sure the household was running and my brother was taking care of. As a young adult, I continued to take care of my mother and my brother. During my first marriage I was the one in control. Again, I took care of everyone. I was the rock. I ran every thing from my husband's career, our house, our kids, our friends. Too an extent, I thrived at being the one in charge. The same could be said in any of my other relationships... until a few years ago.

The problem is, once I possess that man and have him doing my beck and call... I lose interest in him. They become boring. They are no longer a challenge for me. I discard them and move on to the next victim. And therefore, most of my relationships have been short termed, never lasting very long (with few exceptions). So why then am I not a dominant, since this seems to be my born instinct? Why do I not embrace this natural dominant nature and be what I am?

Although I am agnostic, I was raised with penecostal values and beliefs. I have sense come to my own conclusions and don't necassarily believe in the values that I grew up with. With that being said, I am somewhat old fashioned. I believe the man should be the one in charge of his household. Men should be strong and women should be weaker. That is to say, the natural order of things should be that way. Even in the wild, most species is provided for and protected by the male. The female generally is the one to tend to the nest. In the natural rank of things... the female comes in second. I have always felt that this is the way it should be with the human species as well.

Because of this way of thinking, this belief, I have never seen myself as "right" (for the lack of a better term). I feel I am wrong to want to control my man. It's not natural. A woman should not be the one in control. Even though I am bisexual, I chose to spend my life with a man. By making this choice, I feel the man should be the one in charge. If I had chose to spend my life with a woman, I could gladly and happily take control of her and be the one in charge of our life. However, this was not my choice.

I came to this realization several years ago about myself. I do not like being the way I am. I can (and do) walk all over my partners given the opportunity. But this is not what I want. It's not how I desire to live my life. So I have to fight the nature of myself. I have to fight the urge to find a weaker mate and control him. I had to deliberately search for a mate that is strong willed and emotionally capable of keeping my urges to control at bay. I found that strong character in J.

Although by nature I want to control... I do not feel that is what I NEED to live happily. I NEED someone that can control me, someone that can make me do things for myself, someone that can bring out my best qualities and change my bad qualities. Or rather... someone that can make me want to change those bad qualities in myself and turn them into something good. But I also need to feel loved, cherished, appreciated, and needed by my partner. Serving my Master makes me feel all these things. Serving my Master also makes me feel like I'm living the life at a natural rank. And therefore, I feel "right" in this life.

A weaker man makes me feel superior, makes me feel dominant... makes me want to break him down; and once I do... I'm bored and left feeling empty without a purpose for life.

A stronger man makes me want to kneel at his feel and serve him. He is always a challenge to me and never becomes boring. He gives me purpose for life.

So... why do I submit?
Because I have chosen to do so. It's what I want to do and need to do in order to live my life and feel fulfilled.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Part III

I awaken to a soft knocking on the bedroom door. "Ma'am, excuse me, Ma'am. PJ, I'm sorry to wake you. Sir J would like for you to get up now. He is on his way back to the house and expects you to be ready to go by the time he gets here. Ma'am".

I could hear the tension in her voice; she must be worried about failing to wake me as J instructed her to. If only I could remember her name. "I hear you. I'm up. Thank you Amanda" I finally manage as her name came to me.

I look over to the clock and see that it is only 7:15. So much for sleeping in this morning. I notice the shadow lingering under the door and toss the blankets back. "Come on in Amanda" I say as I open the door. "How was your first morning" I asked the new tenant/servant.

"Oh very well Ma'am... I mean PJ" she answered in a much too chipper voice this early in the morning. "I served the breakfast that you suggested and he seemed to enjoy it. He ate all of it, and asked for a second cup of coffee. I offered him a blow job too, just like you said, but he declined". I could see the worry on her face. "I don't know if he likes me or not" she finished.

I suspected J liked her just fine, else he wouldn't have brought her into his home. Knowing that it was not my place to speak for J, I didn't reveal my revelations. Instead I just asked "Did you have any breakfast for yourself yet"?

Amanda stepped around me and began making the bed I had just climbed out of. "No. I was waiting until you got up so we could discuss my meal plan" she stated matter-of-factly. "Here, let me run your shower for you. Do you prefer it hot or warm?"

"I like it pretty warm Amanda. Thank you. You said J wanted me ready to go when he got back. Did he happen to say where I will be going or when to expect him?"

"Yes, he got in a big work order first thing this morning that is due tomorrow. He wants you to go with him today. He said he was running to the drug store to pick up your prescription and some kind of test strips. What is wrong with you may I ask. I mean... what are you taking medications for?"

"I am diabetic Amanda which has damaged my kidneys and I have high triglyerides. So I take medication to help lower my blood sugars, one to protect my kidneys from further damage, and one to help lower my cholesterol. Now, if you would look in my closet, on the left hand side towards the back you will find a row of jeans on the lower rack and some t-shirts on the top rack. Behind the t-shirts you'll find some long sleeved sports shirts. Would you please get a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and one of the sports shirts out and lay them on the bed. On the right hand side of the closet towards the front you'll find my belts. Lay out a black belt for me as well."

"Yes, Ma'am".

I stepped into the shower dreading the work today. The thermometer shows that it is only 31 degrees this morning and the weather bug reports that it is only expected to reach 38 for a high. I hate the cold weather. I will not be looking forward to working today.

I stepped out of the shower and donned a terry cloth bathrobe. I chose not to wash my hair this morning because of the cold temperatures. With my long thick hair it would take forever to dry and I didn't have that kind of time. The drug store was only a few miles away so J would be back any moment. Amanda stepped into the shower and began cleaning it behind me. I gave a smile. It will be nice to have a servant around afterall.

I quickly washed my face, brushed my teeth, took my medication, applied the various moisturizers, and donned my work clothes. J hadn't made it back yet so I would have time to apply a little bit of make-up. Nothing too extravagant, I'll be working in inclimate weather but some foundation, base eye shadow, mascara, and a lip gloss would be okay. I watched Amanda clean the remainder of the bathroom while I finished getting ready. She was quite efficient.

"Amanda, I appreciate your assistance this morning. However, on days that I do not work with J, you will not be expected to clean his Suite. That remains part of my duties. On days that I do work with him, I'd appreciate the help. Thank you" I tell her with a heart felt smile. She simply nodded.

"Let's run down and get us some breakfast. What do you say?" Amanda has been awake for several hours now, I'm sure she's famished. I continue, "Until we get a chance to discuss your health concerns you can follow a similair diet plan as mine, only you'll need more calories than I do because of your height. Due to the lack of time, this morning we'll have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with yogurt and applesauce. The applesause and the jelly are sugar free and has alot less calories in them than the usual brands and the yogurt is fat free. You'll have a full sandwich and I'll just have half a sandwich. That should fit into both of our diets".

"Yes, Ma'am. That sounds great. I love peanut butter and jelly. I'll get started on that while you get your socks and boots on" Amanda says as she leaves the room.

I hear the roar of the diseal engine pull into the drive just as I laced up my boots. Descending the staircase, I see Amanda has already gotten our simple breakfast prepared and setting at the table. I could hear her offer J a blow job again. I knew he would decline. He would spend time making sure she knew her place before he would allow her to service him in that fashion. I knew his style and his techniques. But there will come a time that he will request her services.

"Good morning Master" I say to J as I met his eyes. "I'm almost ready. I just need to eat some breakfast, but I can take it with me to save on time if you'd like. And I'll need to pack me a lunch."

"Don't bother, I brought my lunch in and had Amanda put it in the refrigerator. I've decided we will eat at Subway today. They have stuff that you can eat. Sit down for your breakfast, I need to make a phone call anyway. Amanda will clean up. If I'm not off the phone when you finish, go sit in the truck and wait for me. It shouldn't take me long. Amanda, there will be some guys coming in and out of the house throughout the day. I will leave some special instructions for you by the computer in the office. Please be sure to get them carried out as I've specified."

Amanda and I both reply "Yes, Sir" simultaneously to his back as he turned and left us sitting at the table.

J returned just as I was putting my plate and bowl into the sink. "Ready to go?" J askes. "Yes" I answered. "Good, lets be on our way".

The job took much longer than J had anticipated. We didn't get home until after 9:00pm. I was cold and very tired after a long day of work. I carried debris to the trailer and loaded it. I carried gallons upon gallons of paint and chemicals out of the house. I swept the entire 4 story house and vacuumed the two rooms that had carpeting. I was exhausted. I was looking forward to soaking in a warm bath and climbing into bed to sleep.

"Be sure to get that paperwork turned in right away" J instructed me dashing all hopes of taking a leasurely bath. "Oh and I had Amanda busy until late this evening so you'll be preparing our dinner meal too. I have a quick errand to run, but I'll be back within an hour" he added.

I hurried up and prepared a quick dinner of left-over chicken parmasean, mashed potatoes, and corn. Then I took a quick dip in the jacuzzi to wash off the filth and grime off my body and shaving properly. As soon as I was finished with that, I completed the paperwork and sent in the photos. It was now 11:30 and I knew J had made it home awhile ago.

With that completed, I went downstairs to check in on J and to see if he had anything else he needed done before I went to bed. I saw that he hadn't eaten his dinner and left his dishes on the table. He was now sitting on the sofa watching a western. I decided I probably shouldn't bother him while he's watching TV; lest he gag me and make me watch it with him in silence. Instead of offering the nightly blowjob at that moment, I began to clean the kitchen and put away any food left out. Once I finished with that, I thanked J from the kitchen for giving me the opportunity to work with him. The fresh air had done me some good, even if I was dead tired. After not receiving a response, I looked in on him and saw that he had fallen asleep on the couch.

With chores done, I touched his shoulder. He briefly looked up at me as I offered his nightly blowjob. He didn't respond. Instead he turned his head away and went back to sleep. I tried once more "J would you like to go to bed now or get a blowjob"? He still didn't answer. I wouldn't bother him anymore. It is now well past midnight and I was exhausted so I left him where he was and went to bed.

Just as I started to drift off to sleep, I smiled to myself. I truly am J's slave. If I was just a wife, he would have offered to help me clean the kitchen. If I was merely just a wife, he would have allowed me to sleep and do the paperwork first thing in the morning. No, he no longer thought of me as his wife. He thought of me as his slave.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

A New Tenant - Part II

It is only 9:15 in the evening. My Master is absorbed in some television program downstairs. I have 45 minutes of free time to do with as I wish. I pick up the latest V. C. Andrews novel from the dresser and stretch out across the bed. I am a huge fan of the V. C. Andrews. For those that may not know; V. C. Andrews is the author of "Flowers in the Attic" which was made into a movie quite a few years ago. The author herself died after only a few of her books were publish. However, her family has continued to write her novels under her name. I have read and collected every book ever put out under that name. The are all very good. Although, they all have the same plot. Nonetheless, I enjoy them. J often brings me home the latest copy as a reward for good behavior. This particular book "Delia's Gift" was a reward for learning how to swallow his cum without gagging.

After reading the first three paragraph's multiple times without comprehension, I lay the book back down. My mind is on that dark haired raven down the hall. Just thinking about her makes me want to rub my slit that is still very wet. I groan in frustration and leap off the bed. I may as well start my nightly routine since I can't focus on the book.

I go into the bathroom and bring out my skin care products. I remove my make-up and apply the various moisturizers, brush my hair, brush and floss my teeth, and don a sheer black night gown. Master normally requires me naked and waiting, but he indicated that he wanted to discuss Amanda tonight before retiring. He does enjoy the sexy gowns that he buys me from time to time. I think tonight would be an appropriate night to wear one.

Just as I finished, I hear J's heavy footsteps entire the room and the door close behind him. "That's always been one of my favorite gowns. I can see I need to start buying you a few things. That one is quite large on you now. You have done very well on your diet. How much have you lost so far?"

"Fifty-three pounds now Sir" I answer sheepishly. I can't deny that I was excited about the prospect of having new clothing. J is right, most of my wardrobe is quite large and not as flattering as they used to be.

"Very good. You should be near your goal then. Dr. Price suggested 154 pounds, is that correct"?

"Yes, Sir. That's what he wanted me to start out at. Then he wants to do more blood work and re-evaluate. "

"When do you anticipate reaching your goal? I'd like to do something special for you for your hard work and dedication. Do you still have plenty of your medication?" He asks.

"Well Sir, I'm not sure when to anticipate reaching the goal. The last two weeks I've been at a plateau. I'm still exercising and maintaining my caloric range, I just don't seem to be losing any right now. I am running low on the cholesterol medication, but I have enough to last a few more days. I ran out of my test strips this morning though".

"Very well, I'll make a trip to the drug store first thing in the morning before heading out for work. The scale may not be reflecting any weight loss, but I've noticed a difference in the last couple of weeks. I believe you are replacing some of the weight with muscle now. You're clothes continue to fit a little looser." I don't think you should alter your diet or caloric intake. Maybe we should increase the amount of cardiovascular exercises. From now on, you are to do 45 minutes of cardio instead of the usual 30 minutes. That should help with getting the scale moving again. You're doing very well. I'm proud of you, I hope you know that. You're hard work and your dedication has really paid off. I've noticed an increase of energy. That added energy serves me well. I have an idea, we'll talk about that another time though. Tell me what you think of Amanda".

"Well, Sir" I begin. "She seems a bit shy, but very kind. She appears to have a genuine desire to please. She seems to know her way around a kitchen. I think she'll work out just fine Sir."

J begins to laugh. "I couldn't agree with you more. However, that's not what I wanted to know from you. I want to know if you respond to her. Does she appeal to you physically?"

I begin to blush, "yes Sir, I'm rather attracted to her. My pussy began to throb and moisten as soon as I laid eyes on her. I believe we compliment each other very well physically; She with her dark hair, dark skin, and deep brown-black eyes: me with my pale skin, hazel eyes, and blonde hair."

J throws out one of his big smiles of amusement and continues "True. I'm glad to hear that my selection of servants excites you. I have spent many of months looking for the right girl. A girl that would meet my needs and yet be of service to you as well. My intentions are for her to become our slave. You will be in charge of her. You will be responsible for her training. And you WILL be expected to discipline her when she needs it. You will not be allowed to go easy on her. If you fail to discipline her as needed, it will be you that will be disciplined. Is that understood?"

"Yes Sir, I understand" I say while casting my eyes downward to look at the floor by his feet. I have never been that good at the discipline aspects of things. It was J that took on most of that responsibility with the children when they were growing up. I know that had always disappointed him. He had always wanted me to take on more of that responsibility. Many times I had taken a beaten because I wasn't strict enough on the kids. Over the years, I had gotten better, but was never quite the enforcer J had wished I'd be. Regardless, they are all grown now and have all turned out to be pretty decent adults leading their own lives responsibly.

"Amanda will be responsible for the morning meals, the laundry, and the business accounting. You will still be doing the work orders and completions. You will also be required to come to work with me more frequently when weather permits" he says to me. Reaching up with his right hand, he caresses my face "I wouldn't want to subject that beautiful soft skin to harsh temperatures". I could feel the heat build up in the center of my body. My pussy begins to throb and moisten again. It always does at his touch. "Yes, Sir" I simply respond with a weak voice.

Remembering my instructions from earlier in the night to repeat my offer of a blow job, I offer again "Would you like a blow job Sir"

Without saying a word, he unfastens his belt and loosens his jeans. My mouth begins to water. I love sucking my Masters cock. He always tastes so good. I am eager to take his full length into my mouth, craving the taste of him. Patiently, I wait for him to take his cock out for me, or to give me permission to reach into his jeans and pull it out myself.

"You want this big cock don't you slut?" He teases. "You'd like to suck it wouldn't you?"

"Mmmm Yes, Sir" I state with deep longing.

"Too bad, you'll have to wait. I want to shower first. But you can suck it after I'm finished". Now take off that gown and wait for me on the bed. Lay on your back and leave your head hanging off the side a little bit. I want to fuck that eager little mouth of yours." J walks into the bathroom and I follow his instructions. I lay on the bed patiently waiting just like he told me to.

J exited the shower and I watched him dry off with a towel. I lay back onto the bed with my head leaning off as he instructed. He came up behind me without speaking a word and grabbed my hair to pull my head further back. I opened my mouth wide to receive his cock. I began to lick his cock and rub his balls the way I knew he liked. It didn't take but a few strokes to make his cock hard. He moaned his satisfaction. He held my hair tighter, motioning for me to stop moving. I could feel his harden cock hit the back of my throat with the first thrust of his hips. J began to pump his cock deep and hard into my throat. I gagged a couple of times; he seemed to be turned on even more by that. After a few more strokes, J pulled his cock out of my mouth and teased my lips with just the head. "Would you like to cum in my mouth Sir, or would you prefer to fuck me tonight?" I asked hopefully.

"I haven't decided yet" he stated as he jammed his cock back into my throat again. J gave a little chuckle as I gagged on his thickness once again. "You like that don't you slut? You want some more of that?" He didn't give me the opportunity to answer. "That's just too fucking bad bitch. I've decided I want to fuck you. Roll over onto your knees and put your ass high in the air for me". Without giving me a chance to move, he flung me over with one arm under my thigh.

"That's a good girl. Put that ass up higher" he demanded as his palm made contact with my bare ass. For good meassure he slapped me again. I could feel the head of his cock rubbing my slit. I was wet. I had hoped he'd want to fuck me tonight. My pussy ached to be filled by him. He continued to rub my slit with his cock - teasing me. I couldn't strifle the moan that escaped from my throat. He laughed. "You are all ready for this big cock aren't ya slut? Maybe I won't give it to you. Maybe I'll just jack off and spray my cum onto your back. Would you like that filthy slut?"

Before I could answer I could feel him move back away from me. I filled with emptiness at no longer feeling his touch. "If that's what you'd like to do Sir, I'm here to please you anyway you'd like" I finally answered.

"That's what I like to hear. You're a good little slut. What are you slut? I want to hear you say it" I hear him say. "I'm a filthy slut Sir" I respond. He slapped me on the ass again. "I am your filthy slut Sir" I corrected. "That's right you're my slut" I heard him moan as he jammed his cock into my wet slit buring it to the hilt. He just stood there for a moment enjoying the heat from my pussy wrapped around his cock. "And this is my filthy pussy too. I can fuck this pussy anytime I want. I own this pussy. Who's pussy is this slut?" He askes as he begins to fuck my pussy deep and hard. "It's your pussy Sir" I answer.

"That's right. And who's ass is this" he askes as he takes his cock out of my pussy and begins to rub the head over my asshole. "It's your ass Sir, to use anyway you'd like" I moaned. He begin to penetrate my asshole with just the head of his cock. He slides it in until my assholes surrounds the ridge of his head then pulled it out again. He repeats this motion for several minutes, teasing my asshole. I groan with anticipation. I feel an orgasm build, but I knew I couldn't release it until he gave me permission to.

"You like that don't you slut? You want to cum on my cock don't you?" he asks. "Yes, Sir I want to cum on your cock while you're fucking my asshole Sir." I spoke honestly. "Too bad. You have to ask for it first" and he continues to tease my asshole. "Sir, please, May I cum"

"No, you hold it slut. You hold it, don't you dare cum until I tell you to" he grunted at me. He must have grown tired of torturing me, because he began to fuck my asshole deep and hard. He buried his cock into my ass until I could feel his balls against my slit. "Hold it" he warns once again.

I knew he was about to reach his own orgasm. I could hear it in his breathing. I could feel his thigh musles tighten up, and he began to grunt. "Hold it" he reminds me. I could feel his cock throb inside of me. I knew he would cum soon. "Now bitch, cum on me now!" My body trembled as I was finally allowed to release my orgasm. I could feel him reach his at the same time.

After a few more thrusts, his movements began to slow until finally he slipped his cock out of my asshole gently. I lay there exhausted but very content. I could feel J leave my side and heard the bathroom closet door open and close, water running, and then I felt him return to my side. The warm cloth felt good again my wet sticky asshole and pussy as he wiped me clean of our sweet fuck juices. "You done a great job on the guest room today. I wanted to show my appreciation for being such a devoted slut."

"Thank you Sir. I'm glad it meets your approval" I say with a yawn. I could hear J chuckle about that.

"I suppose I did wake you up earlier than normal this morning didn't I? You'll get to sleep in tomorrow morning. Amanda will be expected to tend to my morning needs. Unless I decide I want another peace of my pussy before I go" he stated as he tossed the wet cloth on the floor. "Come here my pet, curl up next to me and go to sleep. I love you".

"I love you too Master. Good night" I whisper as I gently fall asleep curled up next to the man I love and worship.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I Am His Slave

What do I think?
I am his slave.

How do I feel?
I am his slave.

What do I like?
I am his slave.

What do I hate?
I am his slave.

I am his slave.
A slave has no right to think.
A slave has no right to feel.
A slave has no right to like.
A slave has no right to hate.
I am his slave.

He is all that matters.
I am nothing.
I think nothing.
I feel nothing.
I like nothing.
I hate nothing.

I am his slave.

Monday, February 9, 2009

A New Tenant

"Get up" a familiar voice says. "You have things to do today". I groggily wipe the sleep from my eyes and begin to rise. "Move it" my Master demanded with a quick slap to my bare ass. "Yes Sir" I managed to mutter. Pulling a terry cloth robe from the hook, I began to follow J into the hallway and down the stairs. My training has taught me to automatically load the coffee pot and let it begin perking. Master always wants his coffee first thing in the morning.

I look over at the microwave and notice it's only 5:30 in the morning. This is most definitely unusual. I begin to hope this isn't one of those days where J demands I dress for work and go to work with him. I look out the window and see the ground covered with snow and the tree branches curve from the wind. This is too cold of a day for me to be working outside.

"Would you like me to make you some breakfast this morning?" I ask my Master. "No, don't bother. I've already had my breakfast. I have a long day at work today and will be home late. I will not be coming home alone this evening. I want you to strip the guest room and get it prepared for our new tenant. I want the room completely cleaned from top to bottom. This will be your last time you will be expected to clean that room. Are my instructions clear?"

"Yes Master" I quickly respond. J didn't tell me about any new tenant. Who is going to be living here with us? Why did he not tell me about this? "Sir, may I ask who our new tenant might be?" I nervously question. "Noone you know. No more questions. I will tell you what you need to know when I make the introductions this evening. Remember that you'll be serving dinner for three tonight." I nod my head and respectfully reply "Yes, Sir".

J leaned down and kissed me on top of the head and then walked out the door with no further instructions, and no further explanation of who our new tenant would be. I didn't even know he was considering a new tenant. What could all of this mean?

Trying not to think about it anymore, I get busy with making my breakfast and going through my morning routine. Once my routine was over I ate some lunch and made my way to the guest room. I stripped the sheets and blankets from the bed, took the mattress outside to air out. I dusted and polished furniture, washed walls, vacuumed and shampooed the carpet. I even vacuumed out the dresser drawers to make sure there wasn't any dust in them. When finished, I light a candle and set out clean linens for the bed and clean linens for the adjacent bathroom.

I had just finished with the work when I received a text from J stating that he was on his way home from the airport. This meant it was time to start dinner and make a fresh pitcher of tea.
Seeing as we would have a guest tonight, I should make something special. I'll make my homemade lasagna, tossed salad, corn and zucchini fry, and home made yeast rolls with butter and garlic. Master will be pleased with that and the guest will be quite impressed I'm sure.

I had just brought the bread out of the oven when I heard the pick-up pull into the drive. I grabbed the glass of ice out of the freezer and poured J's tea and added two sweeteners. I then ran to the door to look out the window to see if I could get a glance at our new tenant. Climbing out of the truck was a beautiful dark haired lady. She was taller than I am by 3 inches or so... probably 5' 9" and a little overweight. Her hair was shoulder length and curly. Her skin was deeply tanned from too much sun exposure. Her complexion was dry and patchy from the lack of water and too much caffeine. But she was still quite striking to look at. I could feel my pussy throb. I was physically attracted to her.

I've been attracted to other women before but there had only been a few that could make me wet upon sight like this woman did. I watched her carefully as she reached behind the seat and pulled out 2 luggage bags and a couple of boxes. This was unusual. J was always a perfect gentleman towards our other female guests. Why was he letting her carry her own bags.

J came into the house ahead of the dark haired beauty. "Go help the girl with her bags. Take her personal belonging to her room and show her where to wash up. Do it quickly, I assume dinner is done. I'm hungry. Get moving and don't make me wait too long".

"Yes Sir" I state and quickly go out to help the lady.

"Hi. I'm PJ. I was sent out to help you with your belongings. I'll be showing you to your room. You're too leave the bags by your door and clean up for dinner. J will make the introductions at that time. Lets get moving before dinner gets cold."

The girl smiled sweetly and simply said "Thank you". She had a soft voice. I could tell she was a bit shy. I couldn't help but laugh inside... there was no room to be shy around this house. But she would learn that herself rather quickly I was sure.

We both entered the house and went up the stairway that led to her room in silence. "This will be your room. There is a closet behind the door to the right and a bathroom to the left. Why don't you wash up and I'll see you in the dining room in 5 minutes." I instruct her. "Yes, Ma'am. Thank you" she answered and bowed her head.

Ha! Ma'am? I haven't been called Ma'am since the kids graduated high school and left home. The sound of her voice was so sweet, so sexy - I could feel juices from my pussy start to drip to my thighs. I had better go wash up for dinner myself, I thought.

Five minutes later, our new tenant and I met in the hallway that seperated our rooms. She quickly looked down towards the floor and motioned for me to go first. "Excuse me Ma'am. Please lead the way".

J was sitting at the table watching us move together as we descended the stairs. "Awww there you two are. You two make a beautiful sight. Before I make the introductions, why don't you serve us dinner sweetheart". I nod my head and moved towards the kitchen. I served good portions of food on two plates and small portions on my own plate. I put the plates on a tray and begin to serve them.

"No no... make her plate like yours. She has brought it to my attention that she wants to lose weight. We will help her with that. YOU will help her with that since you've done so well with your own diet. From this moment on, you are in charge of her meals and her exercise program. She will be sitting next to you, across from me."

I move back into the kitchen and adjust her food portions. Then I set her plate in front of the chair next to where I usually sit. "Good, now lets eat" J says. J takes a bite into the lasgna and moans his approval. After he finishes with his dinner he sets his fork down, and begins " PJ this is Amanda. She has come to live with us as a hired servant. She expresses her desire to become our slave but for now, I will only grant her the opportunity to be a servant. After 6 months, if she's deserving, I may bring her on as a slave. Until then, you are in charge of her and her training." "Yes, Sir" I hod my understanding. "Amanda, this is PJ. She is my slave and my wife" he continues. "You will at all times respect her and follow her instruction to the T. After tonight, your instructions will come directly from her for the time being. Do you understand?"

Amanda nods her head answers with a simple "Yes". "Excuse me, what was that?" J asked. Amanda hung her head and spoke "Yes, Sir". "Good, from this moment on you will address me as Sir. When in my presense you will address PJ as Ma'am. When I am not at home, you may address her any way she would like for you to. You will answer with a clear and audible voice. I do not want to have to ask you to repeat yourself. Is this understood?" Amanda looks over at me and then back to J "Yes Sir, I understand".

With dinner done and introductions made, J retires to the living room to watch the news. I stood up to clear the table. Amanda quickly joins to help me. Together we put away the leftovers, clear the table, wash the dishes, wash the counters and left the kitchen as spotless as it was before dinner was started. You couldn't even tell that we had eaten there just a few minutes ago. I was impressed. Amanda may be shy, but she knew her way around with a cleaning cloth. I'm going to like having a servant I believe.

With the kitchen duties completed, I walked into the living room. I glance up at the TV to make sure that I wouldn't interrupt the news broadcast. It was advertising. "Would you like a blowjob Sir" I asked J. "No, not at the moment" he answers. Right now I want you to take Amanda upstairs and help her get settled in. The rest of the evening is yours. Take the time to get to know Amanda. I'll be going to bed around 10:00 tonight. You are to come to my room and offer again. I will want to hear your opinions about Amanda. Now go on and take her to her room. Amanda, you will have the rest of the evening to yourself. It will be lights out for you at 11:00 or earlier if you'd like. You are to get up in the morning at 5:00 am and begin breakfast and coffee. Be sure to get instructions from PJ on how I like it done. Good night. You're both dismissed."

I lead Amanda to her room. She enters behind me and instantly begins to shut the door. "No. Don't shut the door. We are to leave our doors opened at all times during the day. We may only close them when its lights out... but never lock the door". "Now, where would you like to begin with the unpacking. Should we start with your toiletries? I'm use you'll want a shower before you settle in tonight."

"Yes, Ma'am. My toiletries are in this box. We can start with that if you'd like. Just show me where I am to store my things if you would be so kind Ma'am". I couldn't help myself from laughing. "Alright Amanda, you can call me PJ. Please, save the Ma'am for when J is around or for direct orders for now." Amanda shyly looks towards the floor "Yes, Ma'am... I mean PJ". We both giggle and began unpacking her belonging.

With the chore at hand complete, I take a seat in her corner chair. "We will need to discuss your morning chores and routine so you know what's expected of you. It seems J has intentions of you taking over the morning meal. He's given you orders to rise at 5:00. He doesn't wake until 6:00 at which time he takes his evening shower. He's usually downstairs by 6:30. Until J gives more detailed instructions, you should take your shower upon awakening. You will be expected to shave including your legs, armpits, and pussy. He has not issued a dress code for you yet so I would suggest you wear well fitting jeans and a tight low cut blouse for now. J likes soft smooth skin so you'll want to be sure to start a skin care regimen if you haven't already started one. You should be downstairs by 6:00. That should give you plenty of time to start the coffee and breakfast. J doesn't like an elaborate breakfast and he's trying to cut calories so you will be held responsible for that. Keep that in mind when you plan your meals. Tomorrow morning I would suggest you prepare a cup of oatmeal he likes 1 sweetener and 1/2 tsp of cinnamon in it. You would also do well to prepare 3/4 cup of egg beaters with sauted onions, bell peppers, and mushrooms. Two slices of wheat toast with only a small amount of butter. You can set the strawberry preserves and grape jam on the table. He may or may not add them to his toast. He'll be down by 6:30 for his coffee and breakfast. Easy enough?"

"Yes, I can handle that. Will that be all?" Amanda replies. "Yes, that should cover it. I myself don't know what is expected of you. I did not even know that you were coming until this morning and didn't know what your purpose was until this evening at dinner." "One more thing though. After J has taken his breakfast, you should offer to pack him a lunch and offer a blow job. You do give blow jobs don't you?" "Oh yes Ma'am, I do." she proudly informed me.

"Now, I'll leave you to your evening shower. We can go over your daily routine tomorrow. J stated that I am to take over your meal plans and your exercise program. We will discuss any health issues tomorrow so I have a better idea of what your goals are. Tomorrow is the beginning of your new life as a servant. Have a good night."

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to us!

J and I have been married 2 years today. Of course, its been 5 years together. Let me give you guys a little bit of history on us.

J and I met online through yahoo personals. It started out as a dare. A friend of mine and me were sitting in a chat room late at night shooting the bull with one another. I was complaining about how hard it was for a single mother with four children to find "quality" men in a small town. Especially hard for me because I worked 58 hours a week at my job and after work I spent another 20 to 24 hours a week in a class room. Here I was in my early 30s and attending college with a bunch of 18 year olds. So finding a good man at school wasn't much of an option either. Through into this mixture the fact that I'm a bit inverted and alot shy... well my man search wasn't all that great. It wasn't a big deal for me though. I had been married previously for 10 years. He was a good man, but we were just too different. Got married too young. I was niave and just wasn't getting what I wanted from the marriage. Maybe that was selfish of me... but it was what it was. I had been divorced for 4 years by the time J and I met.

Back to the bet... I was translating all of this to my friend that night in yahoo chat. My friend dared me to run a yahoo personal ad. I laughed and told him my belief in that kind of system... which was no belief at all. Those things didn't work. They seem to bring out every horny jackass that lived. I was suffering the effects of half a bottle of vodka however... so I rose to the challenge. The dare included contacting 10 men that lived within half an hour of me.

I followed through with the dare. I chose 10 men that had profiles that striked me as sincere and interesting. Within the first week 8 of the 10 men responded. All 8 horny jackasses. Nearly a month had gone by and yet again... a late night in the chat room with my friend. When a couple of new ID's joined us in the room. The first immediately IM'ed me... another jerk. Turns out he was the 9th man I had contacted through the personals. The second ID just sat around there... watching but not joining in. After quite some time... he asked if he could IM me. Polite individual... so I chose to IM with him. Turns out, he was the 10th and final man that I had contacted through the personals.... J.

We instantly found things in common to chat about. I loved his sense of humor and his ability to make me laugh. He seemed to be quite sincere. And he really impressed me with his eagerness and determination to find me. As it turned out, he didn't have a paid membership to the personals and therefore was unable to respond to me through there so he done search after search on yahoo chat members until he found me. On my yahoo chat webpage I wrote about the chat room that I frequented so he located that chat room to "hunt me down".

We began to chat every night hours at a time. Sharing ideas, throughts, opinions, life stories, etc. We quickly turned our chats into phone conversations and soon after.... met in RL. The day we decided to meet in RL was an odd day. I was supposed to have a date with a guy from out of state. J had asked me out for that evening and I had to turn him down. As it turned out... the guy from out of state didn't show up. I had canceled my babysitter already and had my oldest daughter at home with me. She and I decided we wanted to see a movie: Scooby Doo II. I decided to take the movie in the theatre in J's hometown. I called him up at the last minute and informed him that my daughter and I would be there and invited him to joins us. As it turned out, he had his two children with him that night as well. He wasn't sure he could make it.

He did make it though. My daughter and I were already at the theatre. J ran a few minutes late but he showed up with kids in tow. We quietly talked a little bit before, during, and after the movie. Neither of us were willing to part ways however. And the kids were all hungry so we decided to continue the night over dinner at a local restraunt. We talked and talked and talked. My daughter was showing her ass and I was quite embarrassed at her behavior. His two children were well behaved... although very chatty. We must have occupied the restaurant's table for several hours. It was a slow night however so it didn't seem to be a problem. Eventually, J's soon fell asleep over his dinner plate... and we had to split company to get the kids off to bed. We'd agreed to meet for coffee the next day.

The following day, we were sitting across a table from one another at IHOP... drinking our coffee. I was rambling on and on and on in my nervous ways. This man unsettled me with the way he looked at him. His eyes maintaining constant eye contact. Most people don't make eye contact for more than a few seconds... his was constant. It was unnerving. But very exciting too. Finally, I took a breath and quit talking for a moment... long enough for him to get a word in. And he say's to me "You've got beautiful hazel eyes... angeleyes". Never in my life has anyone... let alone a man noticed that my eyes were hazel and not blue or green as most people think. He had me from that moment on. I knew at that very moment that I was falling in love with him. Love at first sight! (OK so it was second sight... but you get the idea). Three years later we got married and he adopted my 4 children.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Morning Routine

I woke up alert and eager to see *J* off for the day. I roll over and look at the clock; 9:12 it read. Disappointment washed over me; my Master has surely left for work already. I stand and stretch as I reach for my terry cloth bathrobe. Descending the staircase, I hear nothing but silence. Looking through the glass at the bottom, my suspicions were confirmed. The silver pickup was not parked in the driveway.

Taking in a deep breath, I continue towards the kitchen to make my morning glass of Diet Dr. Pepper. I gave up my morning coffee long ago due to my diabetes. I take my coffee with sugar and cream. Although I can use sweetener, the cream I prefer still has too many carbohydrates. After my morning beverage is made, I take out the low carb bread, peanut butter, strawberry perserves (no sugar added), and applesauce (also no added sugar) to make my breakfast. With my breakfast made I sit at the table to eat.

When finished, I put my empty dishes in the dishwasher and light a marlboro. I take a look around, making mental notes of what chores need to be done today. Realizing that my duties would be light today, I smile. "I can spend extra time in the jacuzzi today" I tell myself. I crush out my cigarette, grab my drink and head for the stairs.

Before I start my day, I call *J* to see if he has any special instructions for me. "Not today slut" he answers in that sexy deep voice. A voice that makes my pussy wet and throb just by hearing it. A voice that can make me cum on demand. "You sound refreshed and well rested today". "Yes." I answer simply. "You are a good and kind Master to observe and know when I need the extra sleep. Thank you Sir". "If that's all, have a good day. Think about how to thank me properly tonight after dinner". I could hear him chuckle as he hung up the phone.

I begin my morning routine. I start out each morning with my work out videos. *J* set a rule after I was diagnosed with diabetes to work out 30 minutes a day (more if I choose) 5 days a week. Thursdays and Sunday's are my off days. The exercise helps control my blood sugar levels and helps burn calories so I can lose the weight that the doctor suggested.

Once my work out is finished, I fill the jacuzzi full of water adding the sea salt and the bubble bath. Laying out the towels, shampoo, conditioners, lotions, razor and all the other things I would need to be properly groomed, I begin to savor the familiarity of the routine. If nothing else, my Master knows what he likes and what is best for me. My routine is based on those things. Including what he thinks is a proper grooming routine. With the tub now full, I shut off the water and grab a book.

I first start my bath with shaving my legs, my pussy, and my arm pits. With that chore done I turn on the jets and lean back for some reading. I am to soak for 1 hour. After my hour is up, I'll drain the tub and run the shower so I can shampoo and condtition my hair and wash my body. After my shower, I go through my skin care routine, dry and straighten my hair. *J* likes my long natural curls, but likes it straightened best. With all that done, I sit down at my dressing table to apply my make-up. After that, I put on some clothes.

Usually *J* isn't too picky about what I wear around the house as long as I don't wear panties and bra. However, there are times he has something particular picked out for me to wear. There were no such orders for today. I choose a pair of jeans that are now slightly too big for me, a t-shirt, and a black belt. I'm still under orders to leave my feet bare.

The final step in my morning routine is to clean up after myself: rinse out the jacuzzi, wipe down the shower, mop up any drops of water that may have hit the floor, put away all the bottles, tubes, and jars of my beauty aids and the razor. The entire process takes about two and a half hours. Now I am ready for lunch and household chores. Today I will be cleaning fish tanks and thinking about how I might properly thank my Master for allowing me to sleep in this morning.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

A Skill Desired

I am not one to make promises. I can count on one hand the promises I have made in 15 years. I remember each one of them and can tell you in detail what each of them entailed. 2 of the 4 were made in a past life with a past partner and are not relevant to this life, therefore I won't bore you with them. The third promise, I made to my husband a few years back... to love him for who he is with all of my heart and soul. My fourth promise I made today with my full sincerity.

Before I began, Let me go back to my young adulthood. I became sexually active at age 14. I won't go into details about my sex life back then... most of it is irrelevant anyway. But let me say that blow jobs were never my thing. What I mean is... yes I gave blow jobs as a means to arouse my beaus. And as I understand it, I'm quite skillful at the task. But I hadn't given a full blow job until age 19. I remember my first time very well. The guy... not so much. I remember my friend and I picked him and a couple of other guys up during one of our "hunts". We were single... we were free. And we were quite the little sluts. I didn't particularly care for this guy. The one I had my eye set on was married and left the party. My friend and her beau took off to another room to do their thing so that left me alone with Mr. Nameless. I call him that because I didn't bother to take the time to find out what his real name was. I was bored... idle chit chat was going nowhere with this guy. Sexual tension was in the air. I had no intentions of fucking Mr. Nameless... he wasn't to my liking and we apparently didn't have much in common. But... I was bored and he asked for a blow job... so why the hell not? Right?

I began as I always did... he was pleased. He got erected quickly. I planned to wiat for the moment when his cock began to throb then pull his cock out of my mouth and finish him off with my hands until he came onto my exposed breasts. This was typical for me. I had never swallowed cum... never tasted cum. The moment had came... his cock began to throb so I moved to continue as planned. Before I had a chance Mr. Nameless grabbed me by the hair and shoved his cock deep into my throat and he released his load there. Shocked, disgusted, unhappy I began to gag and proceeded to vomit. I had always wanted to try swallowing... but I never thought it would be like that. I was completely humiliated that I had vomited in the guys lap. That image... that humiliation was always at the back of my mind everafter. For years, I didn't feel the need or the desire to swallow again. Every lover I had taken since then was automatically told that I did not allow cumming in my mouth or on my face.

Many years later, I met *J*. He too was told the same thing. He had always told me that it was no big deal. Swallowing was nice but it wasn't "all that" and wasn't important to him. But I knew it was something he would enjoy. He has enjoyed the performance from many of his other lovers. I began to wish I could learn to do this for him as well. But I could never get the image of vomiting out of my mind. As much as I want to swallow cum for *J*... I have never been able to release my fear of vomiting in his lap. The humiliation of such a thing! There have been times during a good blow job session I have actually craved to taste his cum. There were times that I needed it. But he would pull back because he knew of my fear. I was always appreciative of that fact. Because it was always a "in the heat of the moment" desire. After the moment passed, I was always thankful that he didn't.

Things have now changed. I have chose him to be my full time Master, and he has chose me to be his full time slave. As such... it is my duty, my honor to learn the art of swallowing my Master's cum. The very thought of it and all that this action signifies is something that I desire. In mastering this skill I know that I will become a better slave... I will be able to serve my Master more fully. This is something I want to do. Need to do. Desire to do. Crave to do. MUST do for my Master. Yet... I am still scared. I have promised my Master that I will do all that I can to overcome this fear and will somehow master this skill for him. I trust that my Master will guide this devoted slave through the technique. And I soooo hope that I will not humiliate myself by vomiting in his lap.

Enough thoughts from me today!
Till next time


Today is a day for thoughts, as I lack the inspiration for story telling.

I failed my Master, and therefore failed myself. I am ashamed and unworthy. I should have been forced to sleep in the closet or in the floor at my Master's feet like an animal for my failures. The floor without honor is what I deserved as my resting place. I do not deserve to be placed at my Master's side in his bed after my lack of service. How disgraced I am! I shed tears of shame and disappointment most of the night fearful that I'd wake my Master. I nearly sent myself to the closet for punishment. However, it has always been my Master's preference that I remain on the bed with him. I did not want to further disappoint him by not being at his side when he woke up. I felt guilty for laying there next to him regardless. I fully expected, and was prepared for, a thorough punishment this morning upon his wake. That was not the case. Oh how I wished he had. A beating would have been better and easier than the continued looks of disappointment and anger that was evident in his face and eyes. How disgusted he must be with me. Not as disgusted as I am with myself I bet.

My disgraceful act - I failed to service my Master the way he wished to be serviced. My only excuse, which is no excuse at all... I made an assumption. Master told me earlier in the day that he wanted to use my asshole for his pleasure. When he called upon me to service him, I kept that in mind. He started out with a cock-sucking. I followed his instructions and used my fingers to stroke him as he showed me while I used my mouth to blow him. He was obviously impressed with my skills. His cock got hard and thick; harder and thicker than I've seen him in quite awhile. I was looking forward to him using my ass to get his hard thick cock off in my ass. I suppose that was where I went wrong. I could feel him get excited and ready to explode in my mouth. Keeping in mind that he had told me he intended to use my asshole, I would slow my movements or shift my position slightly to keep him from getting off too soon. I was afraid I'd be punished for making him cum since he had already made it clear to me that he intended to use my asshole.

A slave is never to make assumptions. I felt his hard thick cock throb at the back of my throat. It felt wonderful. I craved to taste his cum. His moans of pleasure showed how pleased he was with my cock-sucking ability. As much as I craved the taste of his cum... I craved his thick cock in my asshole more. Instead of continuing, I would shift to prevent his coming. Partially due to the fact that I believed he did not want to cum this way, and partially due to my own selfishness for wanting his cock in my ass. I should have taken a moment to ask how he would like to cum. This would have been the correct way for a slave to behave. A slave is to NEVER make assumptions!

Suddenly, I could tell that my Master was no longer enjoying my service. He quit responding favorably and just plain stopped moving. He had became bored with my service perhaps? No... there was a definite sense of disappointment and anger to his demeanor. What had I done wrong? He finally had enough of me and made me stop. Asked me what my problem was. Said that I had gotten him "there" twice and it seemed that I deliberately stopped him. He asked if my actions were deliberate. I instantly answered "No Sir" they were not intentional. After further examination of my actions, I realize... They were deliberate. But not in the manner to disappoint my Master. If I had understood, If I had asked for clarification, I was willing to swallow his cum if that's what he wanted. I am always willing to do whatever it takes to please my Master. I would have swallowed his cum with pride. Oh if only I had taken a moment to ask.

After questioning me, Master commanded me to resume the blow job. I am ashamed to admit that I couldn't seem to perform to my ability. I was confused as to what I had done wrong. I couldn't understand why my Master was so upset with me. My mind was full of these questions and I could not keep my mind on the task at hand. Finally, my Master ordered me to turn over. He quickly used my pussy to release himself.

When he was finished, he cleaned himself up and wiped my pussy free of his juices. He lay next to me in silence. Obviously still angry and disappointed. I thought the silence would go on forever. I thought he would just leave me there with all the questions in my head. Wondering what I had done wrong. The silence was unbearable. I broke a rule by speaking first. I just had to know what went wrong. He began to speak to me in a harsh tone, his anger still evident. He had wanted to cum in my mouth. The realization shocked me, but shamed me too. I should have picked up on the hints, I should have figured it out. What a useless slut I am!

I sat up most of the night thinking about the situation. I must admit that I allowed my selfishness to interfere with my performance. Master has been teasing me and keeping me on edge for days. I needed some release. I let my own needs cloud my judgment. If I hadn't been so selfish, I would have picked up the hints. I would have asked!

Today I feel ashamed and useless. Unworthy

Thursday, January 29, 2009

New Friend

After several attempts to remain asleep and get in my full 8 hours of sleep, I gave up and climbed out of bed. I threw on my robe and went downstairs to say good morning to my Master. He's an early riser, and was already dressed and ready for work. I could see he already had his morning coffee. He was on the phone with the office updating them on his work load, so I fixed my morning drink in silence. "You're up early this morning, did you sleep well" he said, signaling that he was off the phone. Not knowing how to answer without sounding like a complaint I simply answered "Good morning. No, not really, I kept waking up. But that's OK, now I get to see you before you head off to work" and gave him a bright smile. I was hoping this answer would satisfy him and he'd not ask further about my night.

"Oh. How come, this makes two nights straight that you haven't slept well?". How do I answer this question honestly without sounding weak? I smiled and gently replied "Every time I rolled over in my sleep I'd wake up remembering your touch". This was an honest answer. My neck and ass were still sore from the flogging from a couple nights ago. The bruises made it uncomfortable to lay in any one position for any length of time. *J* seemed pleased with my answer "Good, bet you'll play to your best ability from here on out won't you?" he said with a sinister chuckle.

"Well I'm off to work" he stated as he crushed out his cigarette and stood up from the table. "We have darts tonight. I should be home by 4:00. I expect you to be ready by the time I get home". He leaned down to kiss the top of my head. "Oh, and you won't be wearing any bra and panties tonight either; dress nice - no jeans and t-shirt. I have a friend coming out that I want to introduce you to" he spat out as he closed the door behind him.

"Dress nice? What does he mean by that?" I asked myself in wonder. I knew his preferred look was slutty and whorish, but we would be playing darts at a non-lifestyle bar. I remembered a saying he liked to quote frequently "all men want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed". I decided to go with a more classy appearance with gray business slacks, a black low cut satin blouse, and heels of course. *J* liked the look of my slender legs in heels. It has been a rule that I wear heels when we went to any social event - lifestyle related or not.

With the decision made, I went about completing my chores for the day. After I finished, I had time to do some writing before preparing for the evening. I enjoy writing short stories. It helps me keep my mind creative and relaxes me. *J* enjoys my stories too. He tells me that its good for a dirty slut to keep her mind active. I try to write stories that I know would entertain and amuse him as well as release my creativity.

As I finished writing, it was time to get prepared. I didn't really think soaking in the jacuzzi was necessary today. Last night *J* had me soak with him, but he told me then that I was to go ahead and soak again today. So I did. He had also told me to pour some bleach into the tub once I got out and let the jets run for a bit. "To clean out the dirty filthy slut cum" he explained. I would be sure not to forget to bleach the tub just in case he asked.

At 4:15 I heard the diesel engine pull into the driveway. I hurriedly ran down the stairs to pour him a glass of iced tea and greet him at the door. He was pleased with the outfit I chose. "Very nice. Exactly what I had in mind" he praised as he kissed my nose hello. "Thank you Sir. How was your day?" I asked. With a roll of his eyes he grunted "Lets not worry your little head with that right now. We'll discuss it later. Right now I want a hot shower."

*J* looked me over head to toe. He appeared to be quite pleased until he saw my feet. "Nice boots" he said with a smile and a gleam in his eyes. I knew that smile well. "Didn't I tell you that you were not to wear socks or shoes around the house from now on?". He did, but he also told me to be ready to go when he got home. I didn't bother with my excuses. I made a mistake in assuming too much. He was right, I was told not to wear shoes around the house. I just stood there in silence. He laughed with amusement at me. "Come with me upstairs and get these completions done while I'm in the shower. It'll be a late night". I quickly moved behind him. The first thing I done when I sat at my desk was to take off my boots and stockings. I would complete the paperwork in my bare feet.

I was still working at my desk when *J* finished with his shower. "I had trouble with the shut off valve down in Osawatomie today. It's located under the house in the crawl space. It was flooded when I got there and had to be pumped out. The dirt was wet and muddy making it difficult for me to keep my footing. It was a bitch to put the new lines into place with me sinking and sliding in the mud. It took longer than what I hoped. I wanted to swing by the Grandview job on the way home and get it knocked out of the way today too. I'll just have to go first thing in the morning and bring that paperwork back to you." *J* was just chatting idly, sitting on the bed with nothing but a towel on. I knew he was impatiently waiting for me to finish with the paperwork. I listened intently and offered suggestions while typing as fast as I could to get finished. "Aren't you about done yet" he finally asked with irritation. "Yes, I'm finishing up now" I answered.

He watched as I sent the final forms out through the email. "Go get my razor" he ordered as he lay back on the bed. I quickly retrieved his razor and tossed it onto the bed next to him. He laughed and shook his head. "Oh no, get your lazy ass over here and trim me up bitch". He hasn't had me shave him in a long time. This was one of my favorite things to do for him. I enjoyed holding his cock in my hands and removing the stubble from his member and the area around it. He has a beautiful cock. I loved feeling it grow in my hands as I worked. I carefully removed the hair. He likes to be dry shaved. "It gets a smoother result" he says. When finished, I got a cloth to clean the loose hair from his skin.

I was just about to get up when I felt his hand at the back of my head. He grabbed a hand full of hair and pulled my head down onto his hardened cock. "Suck this bitch, worship this cock like a good slut". He jammed his cock deep into my throat making me cough and gag. "That's it, take it all. Suck it you dirty slut" he chanted. "You like that don't you?" I nodded my head to affirm that I did in fact love worshiping my master's cock. "Give me the ring bitch". I had to slow my movements so that I could press the ball of my tongue ring into the small opening of his cock. He moaned with pleasure. "That's enough" he said and shoved my mouth over the length of his cock again. "Damn that feels good. You do your job well." he praised. He grabbed my head on each side to stop any movement and began pumping his cock deep and hard into my throat. "Show me how much you love sucking my cock. I want to hear you cum bitch. Cum now". *J* has so much control over me, he can control my orgasms with just a command. My body began to shake with the orgasm.

"Roll over onto your back and hang your head off the bed" he ordered. "I want to fuck that cum sucking mouth". I done as he said. He came to the side of the bed. Once again he began to fuck my mouth pushing his cock deep into my throat. I felt him place his hand over my throat and squeeze, cutting the air off. He continued to fuck my mouth until I heard him grunt... signaling that he was about to cum. "Swallow this slut. Don't you spill a drop. Drink it all" he said as I felt his hot juices flow down into my mouth. He released my throat. I gulped all of his cum down with the first gasp of air. *J* began to dress and ordered me to get cleaned up. "Put those boots on and lets go. I'll be waiting for you in the truck".

When we arrived at the bar, *J's* friend was already waiting for us. "Hi Mike, I'd like you to meet my angel. She's the one I've been telling you about". Mike stretched out his hand to shake mine. "My aren't you a sexy little thing" he said to me. I smiled politely, shook his hand, and said "Hello Mike. Thank you". Mike was a tall handsome black fellow with an athletic build. I hadn't seen him before and wondered where *J* met him. He and *J* began chattering away about fuel prices. I stood with them listening. *J* leaned over and whispered into my ear "Mike here is proud of his dart throwing ability. When you play against him tonight don't take it easy on him. No holds barred". He chuckled and motioned for me to go on and make my rounds.

Later on, Mike and I were called to play against one another. Mike was right to be proud of his dart throwing. He was an avid dart player. He was going to be tough to beat. The first round was close, he won. I hit a double instead of a single 13 making me bust on the 501 game. Mike closed out his round with a high out of 89. On the second round we played cricket. I won that round. Since this is a best 2 out of 3 tournament that meant we'd have to go to round three. I followed Mike with the cork. He nailed the bullseye straight on. I landed one hole out. Winning the cork, Mike chose to play 501 again. I knew I was in trouble. 501 is not my preferred game. I opened the match with 140 points. Mike followed up with 119. This was going to be a close round again. Mike came out ahead. He was left with a bull to close out. I still had 139 points to close. I would have to hit the trip 20 and a single 19 to win. This was going to be my last shot to beat him. Mike wasn't going to miss the bulleyes on his next throw. If I was going to win, I'd have to take my 139 points right then. I threw my first dart and struck the single 19. The second dart landed right on target: trip 20. The pressure was on, I threw the third dart and it landed solid on the trip 20. I'd won! And I took the high out for the night.

Mike shook my hand and congratulated me. "You're a hell of a dart thrower lady. *J* warned me about you. He wasn't kidding. Good game". I smiled with pride from his praise. "Thank you Mike. You're a good player yourself. I hope to see you again in the finals".

I did see Mike again in the finals. He took third place and I took second. After the tournament was over, we all filed out into our vehicles to head home. *J* was escorting me to the truck when he announced "Mike is following us home for coffee. I expect you to be a good hostess". We continued to walk to the truck to the sound of *J's* amused laughter.

Mike arrived at the house behind us. I went in to start a fresh pot of coffee. I was getting out the dice when I heard the men's laughter. "Oh good. I smell the coffee brewing. We won't be needing those dice tonight angel" *J* said. Mike complimented me on our home and asked for a tour. I showed him around and took him back to the kitchen. *J* was already at the table with three coffee cups waiting. Mike took a seat at the table and I began to pour the coffee. After setting out the cream and sugar, I joined the two men at the table.

I liked Mike. He was kind and funny. I learned that he was a single guy recently widowed. His wife had been involved in a car accident a year prior. Prior to her death, they had been swingers and had seen *J's* and my profile on c4p. He saw*J* earlier in the week on a job site and Mike admitted that he recognized him. After a few minutes of conversation,*J* invited him to come to darts with us and Mike accepted.

The conversation turned to the lifestyle. "How long have you guys been in the lifestyle" Mike asked. *J* explained how he came to be in the lifestyle long ago and how he drug me into it a few years later. "Yeah, I came kicking and screaming alright" I jokingly played along. "Truth is, I was already interested in the lifestyle; just didn't know what it was called. *J* simply gave me the answer and showed me the way. " "How do you feel about single black guys" Mike asked turning towards me. Not knowing how to answer I laughed "I'm sure you're no different than a single white man". *J* nodded his head in approval of my answer and Mike smiled. He seemed to be pleased with the answer as well. "Good, Good I'm very glad to hear that. *J* tells me that you've never had sex with a black man before?" he questioned. Before I had a chance to answer *J* stood up with his cup of coffee in hand "What do you say we all move upstairs and put on some music". "Yes, that sounds like a good idea" Mike agreed grabbing his cup of coffee. I grabbed my cup and followed behind them.

"Light up some candles Angel" *J* ordered as he sat down to put on the music. I done as I was told. *J* nodded pointedly towards my boots. I understood right away that I better bare my feet again. I sat down at the conversation table in the corner of the room to remove my boots and stocking. I had come to understand that this night was going to be about more than just coffee and music. I became nervous and excited all at once.

*J* knew I had never been with a black guy before. He also knew that being fucked by a black man was a fantasy of mine. He obviously hadn't forgotten. It was clear that he carefully arranged this meeting. My master is a loving and caring master. He can be harsh at times, and he can be very demanding at times; but he has his moments when he is considerate of my desires as well. This is one of those times. I will be certain to show him my appreciation later. Make no mistake about it; *J* will make sure that I do.

"Come here Angel" *J* beckoned. I moved over to him. He placed a hand on my shoulder and pressed me downward. I kneeled in front of him. He began to kiss and nibble on my neck. I was a bit nervous with Mike standing next to us watching but I quickly forgot when *J* bit down on the back of my neck hard. I sucked in a deep breath of pleasure. Master knows very well where my trigger points are. He slipped my blouse off and I saw from the corner of my eye that he made a gesture in Mikes direction. As my blouse was slipped over my head I felt Mike move in to take it from *J's* hands. Mike tossed the blouse onto the floor. I could feel him kneel behind me. He starting kissing on my neck where *J* had just left his bite mark. *J* began to nibble on my ear and whispered "You'll enjoy this".

Mike placed his hands under my arms to lift me up. I looked up at *J* for approval. He nodded and leaned back in his chair. "Mike you won't mind if I watch would you?" he asked while slipping my slacks off. My slacks fell to the floor and Mike replied "No of course not. Feel free to join in any time you want". That was a good answer. *J* shows a great deal of repsect for those that first show him respect. I could see that Mike and *J* will become quick friends at this rate.

I turn to watch as Mike undressed. He had a handsome body - Tall, lean, sleek, and with dark skin pulled taunt over his muscles. I will enjoy his fucking me. *J* starts teasing my clit. I moaned from the pleasure. Mike came to me and returned to kissing my neck. I moaned yet again. *J* dropped his hand from between my thighs and turned me over into Mike's care. Mike led me to sit on the edge of the bed. He stood in front of me, leaning over as he continued to kiss and nibble my neck. After a few minutes I craved to have a cock in my mouth. I leaned into Mike, using my hand to bring his cock to my mouth. He had a big cock. He had to be at least 10 inches in length and thick - very thick. I began to get nervous. I relaxed when I heard my Masters voice "That's it. Suck that big cock." Mike laughed and leaned back to give me better access. I worked my tongue over his dick feeling it grow inside my mouth. He filled my mouth quickly with his swollen cock. I gagged a little as his cock was steadily growing. I worked his cock over with my mouth until he had enough. He pushed me onto the bed. He took his big cock into his hands and started rubbing my wet pussy with it. I closed my eyes with ecstasy.

Finally, I felt his cock press into me. My pussy stretched from the size of him. It felt good. He filled me completely. He began to pump slowly and gently. As big as he was... slow and gentle was good a nice start. Oh it felt good to be fucked with such a large cock. But he wasn't giving me what I needed. I would never reach orgasm at this rate. Too gentle.

I heard *J* leave his chair and felt his weight join me on the bed. He lay behind my head. He started kissing on my neck and shoulders. "You know what we want bitch" he whispered into my ear. "He wants to feel your juices on his cock. Come on... give it to him. I want to hear you cum on that big black cock now". My body immediately began to tremble at his command. Mike laughed. My display of obedience must have really excited him. He began to pump faster, harder, and deeper into my pussy. This is what I needed. I immediately felt another climax building. "You fucking slut, hold it. Don't you dare cum until I tell you to" I heard my Master's voice whisper. I squeezed and held back my orgasm. "Hold it... Hold it" *J* chanted. Mike had worked up into a frenzy by this point. He was pumping and fucking my pussy hard. I could feel the ache in my pussy as it began to swell from the abuse. Oh it felt so good. I wanted to cum but kept hearing"Hold it... Hold it" in my ear.

I felt *J's* hand over my throat. "You stivel that orgasm you fucking bitch. You better hold it". My air had been squeezed off. I thought I was going to pass out. I wasn't sure whether it was from the need to cum or from the lack of air. Finally I heard the order "Cum now you fucking filthy slut". I shuddered hard with orgasm. I could hear Mike had reached his orgasm too. I felt his cock throb inside of my stretched pussy. He groaned with the release. I could feel his cum spill out onto my thighs.

Mike fell to the bed next to me. "Oh god *J*, she has such a tight pussy. That was great". Mike caressed my arm and said simply "Thank you". The three of us lay on the bed listening to the music and chatting for awhile. Eventually Mike stood up to leave. I lay there watching until he was dressed. I stood up to grab a robe and walk him to the door. *J* pushed me back onto the bed "I'll walk him to the door".

The two men exited the room. *J* turned back to me "You fucking slut. You'll fuck anyone I tell you too and like it won't you?" "Yes Master" I answered. He laughed. "Good now get your cum soaked pussy washed up. I'll be back for you in a few minutes. Your duties aren't done for the day just yet. It's my turn"

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Taken off the Shelf

Last night was a very long night. *J* was in one of his moods. I woke up this morning aching and sore. I, of course, was very thankful to be of service to him. I had been set upon a shelf for so long, I no longer felt as if I was deserving of my place as his slave. After last night, I now feel as if I've been put into the place where I belong: a place I have waited for my Master to put me in for a very long time. A place beneath him... under his total control.

I knew I was in for a long night when my Master beckoned me into the bedroom and instructed me to get the paperwork done while he was in the shower. Normally, he allows me to complete paperwork at my leisure. I hurriedly got the job done and began my nightly ritual of washing my face and applying my skin care treatments. I heard him call from the bedroom "You're taking too long, hurry your slow ass up bitch".

I finished and entered the bedroom. He had some lengths of cotton rope and various floggers laying on the bed. I nervously continued into the room and asked if I could smoke a cigarette. *J* had not given me any instructions yet and I wasn't sure what to expect. I didn't dare be presumptuous and try to guess what he had planned. I nervously lit my marlboro and waited for his instruction; trembling while I waited.

Finally, after I crushed out my smoke he spoke. "Get those clothes off, you filthy slut, and do it quickly". The sound of authority in his voice instantly evoked a sense of fear, and yet... a strong desire to be his play toy for the night. My pussy instantly throbbed with the want of him and the desire to serve him. "Now lay on the bed face down bitch". I did as he commanded. I began shaking a little when he started wrapping the ropes around my wrists. He tied them so tight, the rope began to pinch my tender flesh. He fastened my bound wrists to the bed making them immobile. He then moved to my ankles and bound them with rope to the bed as well. Anxious and excited, I waited to see what would be next for me.

"What happened during the chess games? You lost twice to me too easily. I don't want some mindless fucking bitch. I want something that can offer up a challenge. You can play better than that. I will teach you a lesson. I bet next time you'll play to your ability. If not you'll remember this night" I hear as the first blow of the flogger strikes my bare ass. I cringe under the sting as yet another blow strikes, and another. He had a point to make, and I was getting it real quick. The strikes became harder and harder. They were no longer stinging, they were nearly pain blinding. I couldn't hold back my tears. It was getting increasingly harder to muffle my cries. I did not want to prove to be weak in my Masters eyes... weakness is not tolerated. *J* continued to deliver blow after blow. A couple of them coming down upon my tailbone. I nearly cried out.

Finally, *J* lay the flogger aside and began to rub my raw ass. His touch on my tender skin stung: a wonderful sting that made me proud to be my Masters servant. A sting that was so delicious it made the painful blows well worth the tolerance. My master began to brag how beautiful his red ass was and how much he loved to see it so red and raw. This moment made all the previous moments of pain all worth it. He was pleased. Pleasing my master is what I live for.

I heard *J* reach into the bedside table drawer for something. Shortly after I felt the wet sticky lube poured all over my asshole and pussy. It was dripping between my thighs and running down my ass crack. I guessed he decided to make use of my freshly reddened ass as his hole of pleasure. I was right, only it wasn't his cock that entered me. Instead he plunged a cold, hard, very large dildo into my asshole. He began to pump it in and out of my ass. I could feel the stinging sensation of my asshole stretching. He has not used my asshole for a long time and it was not used to being stretched so much. The pain was uncomfortable, but not intolerable. As long as my pain and discomfort was causing him pleasure, I would tolerate anything.

The ropes were cutting into my wrists. They quit aching long ago, they were now numb. I kept rubbing my fingers together trying to get the blood flowing again, but it didn't help. I dare not complain or look weak to my Master so I kept quiet about it. My only fear was the numbness. I am a diabetic therefore, circulation is a problem. With my hands going numb, it may be days or weeks before feeling came back. I had wished *J* would notice that I was struggling with them, even if that meant more lashes with the flogger.

After what seemed like half an hour with a dildo in my ass, *J* finally removed the dildo and began to open hand slap my tender ass. His touch was welcomed. It felt good to finally have my Master's hands on me. He dug his fingernails into my shoulders and drug them clear down to the underside of my ass several times. Oh how good it felt to be used by *J* once again. "You fucking slut, take this" I then heard him say as he jammed his hard cock into my asshole. He fucked my ass hard and deep. It felt good. I was nothing but a hole to him.

Suddenly he stopped and pulled out "Are you alright?" he asked. Dare I mention the numbness in my hands? After a moment of thought, I knew I'd really get my ass beat if I allowed something bad to happen. He'd be very upset with me if I allowed his toy to be injured. "My hands are numb" I admitted. I didn't complain. I just stated a fact he would want to know. *J* climbed off of me and undid my wrists. Blood began to flow immediately and my fear of the numbness was laid to rest. The numbness quickly turned to tingling as the numbness subsided.

*J* returned to my ass and continued to fuck it hard and deep. It felt good to have his hard cock inside of me once again. It felt good to be his toy: his hole of pleasure. *J* groaned a deep groan of pleasure. I knew this meant he was about to cum. He pulled his throbbing cock out of my ass and spewed his cum all over my back. The heat from him felt good on my tender flesh. It felt good enough to cum to, but *J* had not given me permission to cum so I held it back.

"Go take a shower and clean up you filthy little slut. I'm not done with you yet" *J* ordered. As I climbed off the bed, I was weak and sore. I hid my smile from him as I went into the shower. My Master wasn't done using me yet.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Bared Feet Until Further Notice

Fresh out of the shower, I walk into the kitchen in nothing but my bathrobe, still wearing the towel wrapped around my head to soak up the excess water from my hair. *J* looks up from his morning cup of coffee and notices my bare feet. He reached into his wallet and tossed a $50 bill on the table. "You should see the nail technician today. Your feet are too beautiful to be without polish. I really like the french manicure look."

I immediately understood that this was a command and not a request. Right after I finished the chores for the day, I'd be running into town to get a french pedicure.

"Oh and by the way, until further notice you will not be wearing socks or shoes around the house" he states matter-of-factually as he leaned down to kiss the tip of my nose. "I'll be home late tonight, but I expect you to be to waiting up for me".

*J* took a fist full of my hair and pulled my head back so I was looking directly into his face, "Understand?". "Yes Sir" I quickly answered. "Good, I'll see you tonight" he stated he walked out the door leaving me there reeling with the ache at the back of my head.

I knew exactly what he expected. He expected me to be properly groomed when he got home. *J* is adamant when it comes to his expectations. I would be expected to be properly groomed. Which is to say, he expected me to soak in the tub in order to make sure my skin was soft, moist, and pleasant to his touch. He expected me to be shaved smooth so that he would not be pricked by stubble. He expected me to have my hair clean, styled, and smelling nice. I knew he expected me to be bra-less and panty-less as always. Wearing a bra or panties was not allowed around the house. I also knew that he expected me to have my hair down because pulling my hair back around the house wasn't allowed either. He wants my long blonde hair loose and flowing around my shoulders. Easy for him to grab ahold of I suspect is he reasoning. And now, having bared feet will also be expected.

This was going to be difficult to follow. I get cold easily, especially when my feet are bare. It will be uncomfortably cold without socks. *J* doesn't care about my comfort though. Neither do I... just so long as he is happy; I am happy. This is just another item on the list that'll make him happy. Besides, If I know my master, he'll have fun warming them up for me later. He loves to pamper me. That is, as long as I show that I am completely willing to comply with his demands.

I had gone to the salon as told. After I got back I went through my chores as I normally do. *J* doesn't have any expectations in regards to chores or household stuff. But its something I like to do. It has always been my firm belief that a clean home is a happy home and a happy home means a happy master. So I do these things because I love my master and because I feel like I'm doing more to serve him. I feel it is my place as a slave to do these things for him, even if they are not requested.

I had just finished getting the kids off to bed when I heard the diseal engine to *J's* pick up pull into the drive. It had been especially cold today. I had made him a pot of coffee because I knew he would appreciate it when he got in. But I had misguaged his arrival time. I quickly ran over to turn the pot back on, hoping the coffee hadn't cooled off too much. *J* isn't petty about this sort of thing. He doesn't mind warming up a cup of coffee in the microwave. But he has been known to use such petty things as a mind fuck. I just never know when he may be in the mood for a good mind fuck.

Apparently, today he is in one of those moods.

I watch patiently as *J* comes through the door, pulling his coat off and hanging it in the closet. I immediately get up to pour him a cup of coffee. I see the steam and was thankful that the coffee hadn't gotten cold yet. *J* takes a seat at the table and pulls out the chess game. This is a nightly ritual we go through. We both enjoy the game and *J* prefers to play over his coffee while he unwinds for the day. Although, now I am afraid of losing a game to him. I am the better chess player but one day I threw a game and let him beat me. I wasn't discrete enough about it. *J* knew I had thrown the game and he made me pay for it. *J* has gotten good at chess and can win about as often as I can. However, I can never play without the fear of losing and him think I gave it to him. For I know that price would be steep. This fear makes me a better chess player, and I really enjoy living in that fear. The fear of the unknown... what will he do next? It's a beautiful feeling.

"Are the kids asleep" *J* asks. I informed him that they were. They had done their homework, their chores, took their showers, and were all in bed asleep on time tonight. "Good" he says "take off your jeans and t-shirt". As I'm stripping down for him, he continues to talk. "I see you got the pedicure done today. Your feet look nice. And thank you for leaving your socks and shoes off as I requested. "You're a good little slut aren't you?" "Yes" I answered. "And I treat you good don't I?" Leery now at the direction of his questions, I answer with a shaken "Yes, Sir". "Then why did you serve me half warm coffee?" I began to stammer out an explaination and offer to warm it up for him. "No, I have a better Idea." *J* grabs the back of my hair and forced me to look him in the face. "Get on the floor on your hands and knees". I quickly surrender and do as he said.

*J* leaned over me and began to drip his coffee onto my naked back and hips. True to his word, the coffee was not hot, but it was still hot enough to sting my bare skin. I cringed with the sting each time the dark droplets fell onto me. *J* begins laughing at me. I dared not move away from the hot liquid, fearful that if I did, another kind of pain may come next. Instead I kneel at his feet and continue to take his abuse until he bore with it. "What a good little dumpster you are" he says to me. Then he began to pour the hot liquid onto my cold bare feet. As cold as my feet were, the liquid seemed hotter than what it really was. My feet ached from the sharp stinging sensation. My master didn't relent until all the coffee had been emptied from his cup.

*J* stood over me unfastening his breeches. I could see that the humiliation was having an effect on him. Humiliating me always seemed to turn him on and get his blood boiling. This time was no different. *J* yanked my head by the hair into his croch "Suck this you dirty little whore. You are a whore aren't you?" He yanked my head away from him and demanded "Who's whore are you?" "I'm you're whore Sir" I replied. "Damn straight you are" he grunted as he shoved my mouth back onto his hardened cock. He continued to shove his cock into my mouth over and over again splitting my lip with the force. The length of him choking me with each stroke, making me cough and gag. It seemed like my master would never stop. He must have visited one of his girlfriends before coming home. Otherwise, he would have been quicker to orgasm. Finally, *J* reached the point of orgasm and pulled his cock out of my mouth, spilling his sticky wet cum all over my breasts.

"Now throw on a robe and come play chess with me. Leave my cum on your breasts. And don't forget... those feet are to remain bare until further notice" he demanded as he refastened his jeans.

Desires of Servitude

I desire to be totally possessed... or owned by my master. I am a slave to his desires and whims. However, not to the extent that I could. However, this is not about what I want or desire; This is about what he wants and needs from me. I only wish to be a whore of servitude to him: His possession to do with as he pleases, when and where he pleases.

My master loves, admires, and respects me. Maybe this is what keeps him from dehumanizing me and making me his property in every sense of the word. I do know that if he did not love, admire, or respect me - he would not want me or need my servitude. Maybe this is all he wants and expects from me. Who am I to question his motives? I am here to serve him and totally comply with his wishes and commands without question.