Sunday, February 1, 2009


Today is a day for thoughts, as I lack the inspiration for story telling.

I failed my Master, and therefore failed myself. I am ashamed and unworthy. I should have been forced to sleep in the closet or in the floor at my Master's feet like an animal for my failures. The floor without honor is what I deserved as my resting place. I do not deserve to be placed at my Master's side in his bed after my lack of service. How disgraced I am! I shed tears of shame and disappointment most of the night fearful that I'd wake my Master. I nearly sent myself to the closet for punishment. However, it has always been my Master's preference that I remain on the bed with him. I did not want to further disappoint him by not being at his side when he woke up. I felt guilty for laying there next to him regardless. I fully expected, and was prepared for, a thorough punishment this morning upon his wake. That was not the case. Oh how I wished he had. A beating would have been better and easier than the continued looks of disappointment and anger that was evident in his face and eyes. How disgusted he must be with me. Not as disgusted as I am with myself I bet.

My disgraceful act - I failed to service my Master the way he wished to be serviced. My only excuse, which is no excuse at all... I made an assumption. Master told me earlier in the day that he wanted to use my asshole for his pleasure. When he called upon me to service him, I kept that in mind. He started out with a cock-sucking. I followed his instructions and used my fingers to stroke him as he showed me while I used my mouth to blow him. He was obviously impressed with my skills. His cock got hard and thick; harder and thicker than I've seen him in quite awhile. I was looking forward to him using my ass to get his hard thick cock off in my ass. I suppose that was where I went wrong. I could feel him get excited and ready to explode in my mouth. Keeping in mind that he had told me he intended to use my asshole, I would slow my movements or shift my position slightly to keep him from getting off too soon. I was afraid I'd be punished for making him cum since he had already made it clear to me that he intended to use my asshole.

A slave is never to make assumptions. I felt his hard thick cock throb at the back of my throat. It felt wonderful. I craved to taste his cum. His moans of pleasure showed how pleased he was with my cock-sucking ability. As much as I craved the taste of his cum... I craved his thick cock in my asshole more. Instead of continuing, I would shift to prevent his coming. Partially due to the fact that I believed he did not want to cum this way, and partially due to my own selfishness for wanting his cock in my ass. I should have taken a moment to ask how he would like to cum. This would have been the correct way for a slave to behave. A slave is to NEVER make assumptions!

Suddenly, I could tell that my Master was no longer enjoying my service. He quit responding favorably and just plain stopped moving. He had became bored with my service perhaps? No... there was a definite sense of disappointment and anger to his demeanor. What had I done wrong? He finally had enough of me and made me stop. Asked me what my problem was. Said that I had gotten him "there" twice and it seemed that I deliberately stopped him. He asked if my actions were deliberate. I instantly answered "No Sir" they were not intentional. After further examination of my actions, I realize... They were deliberate. But not in the manner to disappoint my Master. If I had understood, If I had asked for clarification, I was willing to swallow his cum if that's what he wanted. I am always willing to do whatever it takes to please my Master. I would have swallowed his cum with pride. Oh if only I had taken a moment to ask.

After questioning me, Master commanded me to resume the blow job. I am ashamed to admit that I couldn't seem to perform to my ability. I was confused as to what I had done wrong. I couldn't understand why my Master was so upset with me. My mind was full of these questions and I could not keep my mind on the task at hand. Finally, my Master ordered me to turn over. He quickly used my pussy to release himself.

When he was finished, he cleaned himself up and wiped my pussy free of his juices. He lay next to me in silence. Obviously still angry and disappointed. I thought the silence would go on forever. I thought he would just leave me there with all the questions in my head. Wondering what I had done wrong. The silence was unbearable. I broke a rule by speaking first. I just had to know what went wrong. He began to speak to me in a harsh tone, his anger still evident. He had wanted to cum in my mouth. The realization shocked me, but shamed me too. I should have picked up on the hints, I should have figured it out. What a useless slut I am!

I sat up most of the night thinking about the situation. I must admit that I allowed my selfishness to interfere with my performance. Master has been teasing me and keeping me on edge for days. I needed some release. I let my own needs cloud my judgment. If I hadn't been so selfish, I would have picked up the hints. I would have asked!

Today I feel ashamed and useless. Unworthy

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